Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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