my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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