i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
