I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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