2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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