I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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