He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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