i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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