Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
