So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
time to smoke my breakfast
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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