she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
