So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
