i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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