i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
