I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
