i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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