marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
