Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
