I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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