I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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