i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
