I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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