I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
