Ambien. No doubt about it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
