whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
