Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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