I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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