I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
