I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
