ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
