she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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