when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
