I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
