I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
