you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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