the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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