I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
