they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
