there was a trapeze. enough said
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
