i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
