No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
