well I can't set my house on fire every night
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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