We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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