i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
