What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
How's work?
Spinning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
