I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
