Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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