why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
