yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
