We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
