he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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